Transfer-Wk 13,Tues.-Drive through resolution
So far my fluency resolutions have been pretty weak. I’ve missed the first two, namely; “Jan-10 Go a full day without stuttering”, and “Jan-15 Go 2 days in a row without stuttering”. These goals may have been a wee bit optimistic anyway.Well today was the deadline for the third resolution, namely; “Jan-31 Order something in a drive through”. I really wasn’t looking forward to this, and knew it was coming up. I’ve actually considered doing it every day for the past two weeks. Even earlier today, I considered doing it, but put it off.
By 9:30, I knew that I needed to do it if I was going to have any self respect, so I got my coat on and drove to McDonalds for a McFlurry. I had planned on going for a coffee, but it was getting late, and I wanted to get some sleep.
Well I got there, saw the line, and many avoidance thoughts went through my mind.
The line is too long.
I don’t even want anything.
Perhaps I should get something easier to say than “Oreo McFlurry”.
What if I block? .. Can I get out of the line? .. How pathetic will that be if I do!
I should do this later.
Why bother? After all; I’ve already missed my other resolutions.
Etc, etc, etc, …
Then as I was trying to get in line, a car full of young girls came out of no-where and cut in front of me. Which started up the crap center again; how pathetic will that be if I’m suffering trying to get my order out, and they’re all in the car in front of me watching me make an ass out of myself?
You know … all kinds of fun stuff was going through my head. ;-)
Anyway, I did finally get to the drive through speaker. I stumbled, blocked, word switched, mid-word word switched, mid-syllable word switched, used starter words, and starter sounds. But got my order out, and at least a little bit was using my targets. So that’s good.
I think I should force myself to continue doing this until I am able to use my targets consistently. Actually, perhaps I should make the drive through my standard procedure for ordering stuff … just to keep on top of it.
I will try again tomorrow. … Maybe I should track my weight gain as well. ;-)
Not meant as advice, please find a qualified therapist if you are interested in similar therapy.
posted by John MacIntyre @ 11:30 PM
8 comments
8 Comments:
John, I think that's really amazing of you :) Keep up the good work!
Meng
Thanks Meng.
Hello John, I am stutter in London Ont. and I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate you sharing your story.
Keep up the good work
Regards,
DAn
Thanks Dan.
John,
I have been involved in the PFSP in the U.S. (at the EVMS in Norfolk, VA) since 1995. Drive-thru's and telephones were my worst nightmare before PFSP. Now, both are my strength due to the fact that I have spent so much time practicing on both, they are now cue's to monitoring targets. Good luck and keep up the hard work!
Rob
Thanks for the encouragement Rob.
Can you post the link to the PFSP program in Virginia? I'd like to add the link to my blog.
BTW-How much do you find your speech now? Do you use your targets all the time? Or do you just try to use them as needed?
Thanks.
http://www.fluentspeech.com/
I would gladly follow Ross Barrett into the bowels of hell.
My speech has been a work-in-progress since Aug of '95 - gradually getting better, and more consistent, over time... I try to use targets as much as possible - irregardless of if I need them or not, for I know that if I only pulled them out when I needed them, they would not help much.
Thanks for including the link to Ross Barrett's program!
"I had planned on going for a coffee, but it was getting late, and I wanted to get some sleep."
For better or worse, I am impervious to the effects of coffee. I once drank 12 cups of the stuff, hoping some caffeine-fueled heroics would enable me to study all night for my exam the next morning.
I was fast asleep within 10 minutes. (No, it wasn't decaff).
* * *
Regarding the subject of your post, it's great that you're challenging yourself with new transfer activities - this is the only way to overcome feared situations.
Sometimes, though, you have to chip away at the fear in stages. For example, visit a drive through and order something you know you *can* say without stuttering. Next time, order something you're 50% sure you can say. And finally, try ordering something you're absolutely terrified of saying (but using your targets, of course!).
Do not progress to higher levels of difficulty until you've mastered the initial stages. And if a transfer activity doesn't go well, move to a lower level of difficulty in order to re-build your confidence.
I like this strategy because it minimizes the possibility that you'll end up *reinforcing* your fears when a transfer activity goes awry. Operant conditioning works both ways, after all.
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